This is Syuraih al-Qadhi with his wife. Syuraih was a tabi'in appointed by Umar bin Khattab to be a judge's official in the area of ​​the Islamic Caliphate.

After Syuraih (a tabi'in) married a woman from the Tamim tribe, she said to Sya'bi (a tabi'in), "O Sya'bi married a woman from the Tamim because they were women."

Sya'bi asked, "How is that?"

Shuraih told me, "I passed the village of the children of Tamim. I saw a woman sitting on a mat, in front of her sat a beautiful young woman. I ask for a drink to him. "

The woman said to me, "What drink do you like?"

I replied, "Sober."

The woman said, "Give him milk. I suspect he's a stranger. "

Shuraih said, "After drinking I saw the young woman. I admire him. I asked his mother about the woman. "

The mother replied, "My child."

I asked, "Who?" (Who is his father and how he came from).

The woman replied, "Zaenab binti Hadhir from the children of Hanzhalah."

I asked, "Is he empty or filled?" (Meaning to be married or not).

The woman replied, "Blank."

I asked, "Are you willing to marry me to him?"

The woman replied, "Yes, if you are kufu '(worth it).

I left her to go home to take a nap, but I couldn't sleep. After praying, I invited a number of my brothers from among respectable people. I pray ashar with them. Apparently his uncle was waiting.

His uncle asked, "O Abu Umayyah, what is your need?"

I explained my wishes, then she married me. People congratulate me, then the program is over. Once I got home I immediately regretted it. I said to myself, "I have married the most violent and violent Arab family." I remember the women of the Tamimites and they were hard-hearted.

I intend to divorce him, then I change my mind. Don't be accused first, if it's good. If not, then it will be done.

How many days after that the women of Tamim came to deliver it to me. When he was seated at home, I said to him, "My wife, including the sunnah, if a man is united with his wife to pray two rak'ahs and so is he."

I stand in prayer, then I look back, it turns out he is also praying. After the prayer, the servants prepared my clothes and put on a robe dipped in za'faran oil.

When the house is quiet, I approach it. I reached out to him. He said, "Stay where you are."

I said to myself, "A calamity has come upon me." I praise God and recite the prayer to the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam.

He said, "I am an Arab woman. For the sake of Allah, I did not step except for things which Allah favored. And you are a strange man, I don't know the morals of your personality. Say what you like, so I can do it. Say what you hate, so I can get away from it. "

I said to him, "I like this and this (I call words, deeds, and foods that I like) and also hate this and this."

He asked, "Explain to me about your relatives. Do you want them to visit you? "

I replied, "I am a judge. I don't want them to saturate me. "

I went through a night full of pleasure. I stayed with him for three days. Then I went to the court assembly (started working again). There was no day that I passed without goodness from him.

One year later (after our marriage), when I returned home, I saw an old woman who ruled and banned, it turned out that it was my mother-in-law.

I said to my mother-in-law, "Welcome."

Mother-in-law said, "O Abu Umayyah, how are you?"

I replied, "Fine, thank God."

Mother-in-law asked, "How is your wife?"

I replied, "The best woman and pleasant friend. Mother has educated her well and taught her character well to her. "

Mother-in-law said, "A woman is not seen in a situation where her behavior is the worst except in two circumstances. If she has obtained a place beside her husband and if she has given birth to a child. If you see something that makes you angry from him, then beat (with a guiding punch, not imprint). Because men don't get bad at their homes except for stupid and spoiled women. "

Shuraih said, "Once a year my mother-in-law arrives, she comes home after asking me, mu What do you think if your relatives want to visit you?" I answered, "Whatever they like."

Twenty years I was with him. I never hurt her or was angry with her.



Lessons from the story:

A man must be religious and firm in religion.
A man must get married quickly if his heart has loved a woman, because it is feared he will be slandered.
Choosing a woman as a wife and researching her family before marriage.
Put your trust in God, not afraid to face the future and optimistic about the success of marriage.
Use the means of dialogue and gentle attitudes towards the wife, especially at the beginning of marriage to realize mutual love between husband and wife and eliminate the fear of a girl.
Husbands and wives should pay attention to their appearance, so that their love will remain lasting and both will be protected from things that are forbidden to tempt the eyes and heart.
Important matter: A woman must have clear reason, because it helps understanding and balancing her husband in everything that is in accordance with his moral character.
Husbands and wives should understand each other since the life of husband and wife began. Because it can create peace, tranquility, avoid problems and disputes. And that can be achieved if the husband explains to his wife about:
Bad qualities that a wife does not want to have.
Behaviors that are not liked by women in general, so that the wife avoid them as much as possible.
Anyone from his friends can relate to him, whether from family, neighbors or friends. Husband has full rights in determining who may enter his house and who is visited by his wife or related to him.
The wife should try to cook her husband's favorite food and stay away from what she doesn't like. Wear the color that he likes and stay away from what he hates. Because the wife is dressed for her husband and that includes dressing a woman for her husband.
Wives should pay attention to the husband's speech as well as possible. That will help him understand and understand his intentions so that he can fulfill his orders properly.
The obligation of the wife to obey the husband in each of his orders, without denying, as long as the husband does not order him to intercede with Allah's commands Tabaraka wa Ta'ala and His Messenger sallallaah aih alaihi wa sallam.
 The wife's family has a position and respect from the husband's side. It's just that this is not an excuse that allows them to visit their child without their permission and pleasure. Therefore, the wife should know the extent of the husband's willingness to receive a visit from one of his family in her husband's house. The case does not require questions, intelligent people can understand, even if they are not forthright. Because some wives are angry if their husbands expressly express their objections to the entry of one of their families. The husband came home to find peace in his house, he harbored this because he was afraid of his wife's anger. Husband is silent, but he is depressed. This clearly affected the harmony of husband and wife relations and was the cause of the dispute between the two of them after visiting relatives.
A pious mother and a successful educator woman, her influence left an impression on her daughter. A mother tries to make her daughter's household lasting and successful. Because it includes an important obligation after the child moves to her husband's house, the mother does not participate in her daughter's household except in an emergency and in order to achieve the goodness of the husband-wife relationship. In this case, the mother must avoid feelings that are not appropriate in every dispute she hears from the marriage of her child.
The threat of hitting is not automatically used in improving husband and wife relations.
A woman who graduates from home who educates her well with noble values ​​and understandings can help build a healthy and peaceful home life.
If a husband and wife behave as described, surely both of them will enjoy the happiness of a happy household. The wife does not see things that pollute her happiness. Husband is happy with his wife who is pious and can make him happy.
Husbands should not indulge their wives and seek out excesses. Because if a woman sees her position and position on the side of her husband so spoiled, surely she will be proud and arrogant, and maybe make her ignored the words of a husband who is angry at him for his mistakes. Husbands should be able to arrange their feelings to their wives well.
A happy husband at home will also succeed in his work.
This is a guideline that must be understood and understood well by a woman, as a light in her life. Devote well to your husband, surely you are happy and get a husband who is happy and successful in his work.